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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
She conquers, who conquers herself. That is my school motto (the english from latin translation). I never really realized how much it really made sense to me, until today. I never thought graduating from high school would feel so surreal to me. I've used that word too many times tonight, but it's the only one I can think of and it sounds perfect to descibe how i'm feeling. I could look up another word in a thesaurus, but that takes time. I've had my tougher than tough times during this four years, in and out of school, and I guess it's that "Intangible Spirit" (along with the help of friends, fam and one of the best school counselors in the world!!) that every Girls High girl has (some, not as much as others) that kept me going.
The only bad thing about my graduation was the fact that 1) I didn't really get to say goodbye or even just a bye to most people that I wanted to 2) Some of the parents/friends of them girls where just too ghetto for me 3) They didn't think to even say ONE thing about Jessica...not even a friggin moment of silence. I'm gonna elaborate more on number 2. It's a given, that some people are just so proud of whomever is accepting their diploma at that time, that they have the urge to scream out that person's name. BUT after at least the 20th time of Mrs. Matthes, Mr. Butler and Mrs. Amoroso telling the audience in the nicest way possible to respect us and not scream out individual names, they STILL insisted on doing it. The sad part is that it's only going to get worse as the years go on. The way I see it is, there's a time and place to be ghetto (and that's even debateable), a graduation isn't one of them.
Now here comes the question i've asked people nd people have asked me...how does it feel to be a high school grad? It really doesn't feel any different for me. I have my diploma cover, with my actual diploma inside. It's sort of hard for me to realize that next year, even some of the people I sincerely disliked, I won't see, possibly ever again. Only one girl from my school is going to Edinboro with me. I never really talked to her much though, so....yeah.
I had to go up to the Academy of Music yesterday for graduation rehersal. They had some of the most beautiful chandeliers (1), (2) that I have seen.... aside from the one's from prom. I don't think I took a pic of those though. Here's a prom pic. I'm tired, it's been a looooooooooooooong week. So much to do before Monday, so little time to do so. I'll manage though.
Posted at 9:55:17 pm by DivaliciousOne
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Friday, June 10, 2005
How do you measure a year in the life? Today was probably one of the best days i've had in a LONG time. Unfortunately, these things only happen at the end of the begining. Look at me being all nostalgic. Okay for those of you who don't know, today was Senior Day....the second one. This one was sort of like a graduation for the school, without the diploma's and things. We walked down, sang songs....everything. It was pretty good too. Hot though. Like....REALLY HOT! I cried a little during Monique's (our class President) speech, and what Mrs Amoroso (our class Sponsor) said. I got 4 scholarships/awards....none of which I expected. Some of my friends got mad at me because I "didn't tell them I was smart". So, we do the reccesional out, go get out caps and tassles (however you spell it). I hjad to (figuratively) run to my locker to get my stuff (we couldn't carry it with us during the processional). Walking out the building...I fall. I'm okay though. We get out....it's HOT as BALLS outside. For whatever reason, we go dashing for the bus like there weren't like 6 there. It starts to rain, so we have to put up the windows. The music on the bus was good. I bet we got on the drivers nerves because we sang EVERYTHING (Mariah, Gwen, Omarion, Ja Rule, DMX....whatever else came on). While the windows were stilll open we screamed at the other buses. Signing year books, Rachel takin pics like she's raping us, Suzy #1 grinding on Ri-Ri. Haha...good stuff.
When we got off the boat, it stops raining. We get on...I don't remember it like that, but I haddn't been there since 5th grade for graduation. And of course, Robin tries to talk to one of the entertainers....Josh B was his name. He was alright, he needed to SHAVE though. I hate scruffy beards...razors were created for a reason. The soda was flat. I went out on the outside. Here's a tip: NEVER go outside on a boat with a skirt higher than knee length on because you won't be able to keep it down. They started playing Breakaway (one of our graduation songs) while i was out there, so I came back....everyone was singing it.
Eventuallly we actually start dancing. By we, I mean everyone but me. It was entertaining....VERY entertaining...battling on the dance floor. We got Mr Micheal, Mrs. Burdo, Mrs. Goren, Dr. Joy, Mr. Straff, Mr. Hoey, Mr. Stein...even Dr. MYLES to dance. Oh man, I wish I had a video camera because it was just too damn fun. Like some of them were almost to the point of GRINDING onthe dance floor. Just imagine...some of your teachers almost grinding on the dance floor and one of them droppin down and gettin her eagle on. HAHAHAHA. I was waitin for someone to get Mrs Amoroso on the dance floor....I think she was takin those pics on purpose. Hehe. I mean, hell, if they got her to do the chicken head last year and Dr Myles leaned back....anything is possible.
I went around gettin some of the staff to sign my yearbook. They played All My Life (I HATE THAT SONG!!!) before we docked back. Tears were flowing...my eyes...a lot of people's eyes. Like a chain reaction. It was raining when we got off the boat. I thought Robin and them left me, but they didn't. I had to run and find someone's umbrella. A block later, it stopped raining and got hot and humid again. We were going to Dave and Busters.
After a couple of blocks we realized how far we would have to walk, so we decided to take the bus (which only runs every half hour). We kept tryna get trucks to beep their horns at as....we told Deanna to flash them. The funny thing is, the people she kept getting the attention of were chicks. Hehe. As we were waiting, a thunderstorm was coming our way. It started to rain 2 minutes before the bus finally came. When we got off....it was literally POURING!!!! I had on a white skirt....not good. I had only been that wet in the shower and in the pool. Pure Greatness!!
We decided to go to the Gallery to eat because D&B's is too expensive, plus I had to borrow money from Deanna because I left my $20 here. So, I had to borrow more money to get food. I always pay back so, that's no big deal.
Chillin there was pretty good. Never really hung out with anyone from school. One thing that, I guess annoyed me was when we were walking to the El to go to the Gallery. It was me and 4 other girls, doesn't matter who they are. Not that you'll meet them, but yeah. Anyway, so I was the only one in the group of five of us who hasn't "played scrabble"...had sex. And one of them asked me if I was waiting until marriage. And, so what if I am? Then, I think she tried to play me about something. I don't really remember or care. Then, as we were eating, they were talking about something. I'm more of a listener than a talker so, yeah. And Robin said something about how they've probbaly burned my ears off. It was something about sex. I just hate the fact that because I'm one of the few people I know who haven't had sex, they think I'm some type of prude. I'm so far away from being prudish, it's not funny. You name it, I bet I've heard of it and/or talked about it with one or more people at one time of my life or another.
And i'm sittin here..listenin to music. The same songs i've heard 50 million times today keep coming on. I don't mind, but I want to go out dancing, even though I can't dance for my life. Well, not the way I want to anyway. Never been clubbing, I want to try it, eventually. Looks like I can't go to Egypt on the Waterfront..it burned down. I heard Chrome is a hot spot, but I aint goin clubbin on my own *BEND OVA TO THE FRONT AND TOUCH YA TOES* Sorry, Yeah is on. *WANNA LADY IN THE STREET, BUT A FREAK IN THE BED* Sorry again, the beat is contagious. Speaking of Mariah, she's on AGAIN...different song though, thank GOD! Alright, I'm going to shut up now. Today was better than prom...HANDS DOWN. I basically hated it, so there's nothing to post about. Night mon amis!
Posted at 10:09:06 pm by DivaliciousOne
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Thursday, June 09, 2005
*WARNING* Bored beyond belief
Heterosexual Questionnaire
1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. WHen and how did you first decide you were heterosexual?
3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of members of the same sex?
5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?
6. If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disporportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
7. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
8. Why are heterosexuals so premiscuous?
9. Why do you insist on being so obvious and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band. This never gets old. Or does it?
My Artist Choice: Céline Dion (chansons en francais et en anglais)
Are you male or female: Elle; Treat Her Like A Lady
Describe yourself: Papillon; If You Could See Me Now
How do you feel about yourself: L'amour existe encore; I Don't Know
Describle your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: J'ai besion d'un (autre) chum; If Love Is Out The Question
your current boyfriend/girlfriend: C'est pour toi; Love Doesn't Ask Why
Describe where you want to be: Dans un autre monde; Next Plane Out
Posted at 8:26:09 pm by DivaliciousOne
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Let me fall
Let me climb
There's a moment when fear
And dreams must collide
Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me
So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear them
Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise
I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains
Someone I am
Is waiting for my courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me
So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear
Let me fall
If I fall
There's no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment
Just let me fall
Posted at 7:20:34 pm by DivaliciousOne
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005
How should we live our lives?
Life has loveliness to sell—
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Climbing fire that sways and sings,
And children’s faces looking up
Holding wonder like a cup.
Life has loveliness to sell—
Music like a curve of gold.
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And for your spirit’s still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.
Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost.
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been or could be.
—Sara Teasdale
Posted at 8:22:26 pm by DivaliciousOne
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Wednesday, June 01, 2005
There is a reason why I shouldn't read my email in school...because now i'm going crazy. New Céline book......29 days....SO BUYING IT! Why pay for a TC membership to get it when I can buy it on Amazon for 3 dollars and some change less! *Needs to calm now* Well, look at me, updating two days in a row ;-) Time for me to go an swipe in and get ready to cry (We're having a "Walk Down Memory Lane" assembly, in which they play I Will Remember you...me and Jess were talking about it the week before she died...) Anyway....no time for being upset....YET! Haha. Don't mind me, you'd think i'd been drinking something highly caffinated by the way i'm talking.....THIS is what Céline does to me.
*Ahem* Looks like it won't be released til October 1st *hint**hint*. Maybe I should read things before I start getting excited too quickly. Still excited now, but I've calmed down. I wonder why TC says something about june 30, but....hmmm...I don't know. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Posted at 7:46:24 am by DivaliciousOne
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Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Wanna know how many hours of sleep I got last night? Well, I don't know so I guess we're all SOL on that front. I know I didn't get more than 4. I went to sleep at around 11:30, something woke me up at around 2ish and I didn't really get back to sleep until it was time for me to get up. While I was trying for literal hours to get back to sleep, I thought of a million things to post about, but I can't remember half of them and now I'm not too sure that I feel like posting the rest. Not that anything is really important, just things that have been on my mind recently that probably make no sense anyway. Maybe it'll start itching at me for me to post about it...we'll see.
15 days until graduation. I'm starting to feel the pressure and stress of it. Practice is supposed to start Friday (prom day). And don't get me started on Prom. I don't know why I bothered saying that since i'm going to talk about it anyway. I got my dress back last night. I don't know, it just seems a bit too short now. I know I'm no giant, but I prefer it when my dress cascades over my shoes. And now, it'll come to like my ankles :-/ Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I was going to attempt to wear my 4 1/2 inch heels....so much for that. I still have no necklace, I don't like the way the make up looks on me, nowhere to go afterwards, no way to get home afterwards....................the list goes on and on. I'm really not feeling very optomistic about it at the moment. *Sigh* I don't know. I've been in a mood since early this morning.
So, we had an hour long senior class assembly. And just like I thought, we DID have a "Sex Is Not A Prom Favour" talk. Everyone found it unbelieveably funny that my principal said the word sex. I don't see what was so funny, but anyways. The other parts of our "talk" were very entertaining, somewhat. Mr Dylinkski came up to the mic (when Mr. A finally fixed them almost a half hour into the damned thing) and made a joke: If you drink, don't park...accidents cause people. I may be the dumbest person in the world, but I had NO clue that sperm lives inside of you for 5 days. Closer to the end of it, Mrs Amoroso was choking half to death and no one would get the women any water.
Why make friends? Honestly....I really want to know the reason. There is no definate reason because everyone has their own. I truly believed that, if you stay friends with someone for a long period of time, that bond could do one of two things: grow stronger or just go downhill from there. More and more, people's actions are proving to me, that once you hit a certain stage...it cannot really get any stronger. Especially when significant others come into the picture. I now believe that, whether you want to or not, you are bound to lose your bestfriends to their boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife. Maybe not TOTALLY lose them, but once they think they're in love, have sex....whatever, the friendship is never really the same again. The calls untimately stop, unless you initiate them, and even then, you constantly get "i'll call you back"...to which you aren't called back anyway, so there was never any point to calling in the first place. I guess it should be expected, but should it really?
You ever wonder how it is to feel invisible.....every second of every hour of everyday of every week of every year? Do you ever wish you were? Here's a tip...don't. Because in life, you get somethings you don't wish for.
Some random questions
1) Is it self-contradicting that there is a saying 'nobody's perfect' but referring to someone as a nobody is an insult?
2) If you were in the middle of going to the bathroom in a public place and you noticed a video camera facing you, would you stop going right then or finish?
3) Do you think the United States government has a long-term plan of conquering the entire world?
4) Is there a difference between feeling exposed and feeling vulnerable?
5) Is perfection satisfying?
6) Do you think it is worth holding onto a person who has broken your heart once but apologized?
7) Do you think that it is possible to be a prude and have a dirty mind?
8) Are all men created equal?
Posted at 6:32:19 pm by DivaliciousOne
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Saturday, May 28, 2005
I guess it's been awhile, hasn't it? I haven't really been in much of an updating mood. I've been okay...for the most part, but I'll spare yall the details because it doesn't even matter anymore. So, today I went out shopping to look for shoes, a bag, and make up (yes, i own NO make up.....i don't see the point in it) for prom. I got no shoes and no bag, but the make up I did get. I always got 2 pairs of jeans on sale (10 and 15), a shirt for senior day (still looking for pants), a pair of gold earrings, and a couple of other various things.
It was so beautfiul out when I left the house. As i'm walking to the bus stop, one of my neighbors asked if I needed a ride. I didn't really know these people at all, but it was so nice out, I had to refuse. If it were like a cold day, I probably would have accepted. But while i'm at the mall looking for everything, it gets very grey, almost to the point of being black outside and starts raining. I had no umbrella, so I was walking outside in the rain and wind.
I hate looking for clothes sometimes because the nicest things I like either are NEVER in my size, they're too long on me or they don't look right. You know what is VERY unattractive? Walking down the street with you're thong hanging out...PURPOSELY! I can understand that sometimes you have no control over your jeans not staying up, even when you have on a belt. But when you have on a belt AND your thong is showing on both sides of you....UGH!
I was supposed to be going to Kyra's today for dinner, but I'm too tired now and the sun won't make up its mind, whether it was to come out or stay hidden behind clouds. I still need to find somewhere to get my graduation dress. I think i'm going to go and get rid of some clothes that I know don't fit anymore in my room and experiment with this make up. Maybe yall will get an update later.
Posted at 6:27:40 pm by DivaliciousOne
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Saturday, May 21, 2005
Waited for the right one to find me
Wondered when the right one would come
Would I?
Would I see in that instant I see him
That my
That my heart's found that one
Would I know
If he was right here beside?
Would I see
If he was in front of me
Would I feel
Something inside that would let me know
That it's right, that it's real, would I see?
Would I know?
Waited for the right eyes to see me
Reaching for the right arms to hold
Would I?
Would I know I was just getting further
Would I
Know when I'm getting close
Would I know
If he was standing beside
Would I see
If he was the one for me
Would I feel
Something inside that would let me know
That it's right, that it's real, would I see
Could I trust what I feel?
Would i knoooow?
Would I see he's the one that I search for?
Would I feel from that feeling inside?
Would I know from inside of my soul?
Would I knoooow?
Now I knoooow
Something inside me that lets me know
That it's right, that it's real, now I see
Now I know
Ohhhhhhh
Something inside that lets me know
That it's right, that it's real, I can see
I can trust what I feel
Now I know
Waited for the right one to find meee...
;-) *Melts into a MCF puddle*
Posted at 8:49:23 pm by DivaliciousOne
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Tuesday, May 17, 2005
*Will do a real update....eventually* I found this on some girls Myspace from my school. Everyone is addicted to them...just like Xanga. *The only girl (i know of) in school with a Blog. And people call me a follower......
10 TRUTHS BLACK AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:
1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in
line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is
not normal.
10 TRUTHS WHITE AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:
1. Hickey's are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of
every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store
is not normal.
10 TRUTHS WHITE AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK
PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:
1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead. (is alive, did do a interview 2 weeks back)
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth
more than your car.
Posted at 7:08:03 pm by DivaliciousOne
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